Soon after Dale was diagnosed, we began considering a move to a continuing care community. While I knew the wisdom of this, I remember discussing my feelings of hesitancy with a friend. I said, “I don’t want to move to a place where people only know Dale as ‘that man with Alzheimer’s disease.’” My friend replied, “But if you move soon, they will get to know Dale as he is now.”
That is what happened. The progression of his disease moved slowly in those first years, and the people in our new community came to know Dale when he could fully engage in conversations and share his own story. Many grew to love him and still do, no matter the changes.
There are times when I still feel that longing for others to know Dale as more than a man with Alzheimer’s disease. Any new medical situation is where I sense it most acutely. There are usually only a few seconds to say the most basic things to the staff as we walk into the examining room: “His language comprehension is mostly gone. You will have to show him what you need him to do.”
However, I want to say: “This is Dale Sessions. He has been my beloved husband for 35 years. He is more than his disease. He has a story.
Dale is a man of courage and compassion. As a minister, he was not afraid to ‘rock the boat’ when advocating for issues of social justice. He was a chaplain who cared for people with the disease he has now…a pastor who walked beside many in times of illness and death…a skilled counselor with people suffering from mental illness and addiction.
When Dale asked how you and your family were, it wasn’t perfunctory; he really wanted to know. He was genuine and had little patience for pretense. As a friend put it, Dale could tell ‘chicken s*** from chicken salad.’
Dale loved to tease and laugh. He still does, although you may not be able to understand his jokes. Music fed his soul and continues to. He cared and loved deeply. He still does.”
Of course, outpatient medical offices are not set up to hear people’s stories. They are equipped to treat whatever the presenting problem is, and I am thankful for the expertise of those professionals. I am also thankful for care providers who treat Dale as a man who is far more than his disease.
As I write this on the eve of his 81st birthday, I am filled with memories of Dale’s story and deep gratitude for all that he was and is. May he know tomorrow—and each day—that we are happy he was born. May he know each day he is dearly loved.
Norma, thank you so much for continuing to share Dale’s and your journey. Your love for him has endured the many challenges and deeply felt joys. I admire you as I didn’t handle Dave’s journey nearly as well. Be safe take care of yourself. Fondly, Sue
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Such a different journey, I imagine, Sue. We have had a long, gradual entry to where we are now, and Dale has been cooperative for the most part. I admire your strength and steadfast love over all the years of your journey with Dave.
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Thank you for the Love and Respect you have, and feel and show. He couldn’t have asked for a better wife and companion. It is so hard to miss him; and yet know that Someday, he will be BACK! I’m sure that he wants you to accept all the help that you and he need to proceed through these times. He wants you to be Happy…
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Thank you, Dean! ❤️
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Just read “More Than”:
Amen! and hugs to you both.
May the promises of Christ carry you through the times of loneliness, uncertainty, and unresponsiveness. . . . to whatever ways God plans “to prosper you (all).”
Missing you two and wishing/praying for the best for you. Always, Faye
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Thank you, Faye! Missing you, too. Sending all our best wishes and love!
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Love the pure joy captured in the photo! Your continuing saga is an inspiration and a blessing to those of us who can only support you from afar with empathy and prayer. Happy Bitrhday, Dale, and Merry Christmas to you both!Sent from my Verizon, Samsung Galaxy smartphone
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Thank you, Barbara! Merry Christmas to you and your family as well!
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